My Grandma Peaden passed away unexpectedly on Monday, March 19. She had not been feeling well, so she went to lie down and rest. When my aunt came by a half hour later, she was gone. Grandma's passing came as a shock to me and everyone else in the family. I think everyone expected her to be around a good while longer as there were no indications to make us believe anything otherwise. The unexpected nature of her passing has made it more difficult.
Grandma's mother died when she was only two years old, and Grandma was raised by her grandparents. Her father, who was devastated by the loss of his wife, lived in a nearby house. Grandma grew into a beautiful woman, and my Grandpa saw a picture of her while he was at her father's house and inquired about her. He asked her out to his mission reunion, and they continued dating after that. After they got married, they had five children together, my dad being the first. Grandpa passed away not too long after Austin was born. While I am so sad to not have my grandparents here on earth with us any more, I am glad to know they are together again.
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| Grandma and Grandpa with all their children and children-in-law |
My memories and feelings about my grandparents grew and changed a great deal over time. When I was a young child, I loved visiting Grandma and Grandpa Peaden. They lived in a house that had two units. Grandma and Grandpa occupied one, and other relatives occupied the other during different times, like my Grandma Elsie and Great Aunt Nellie. I remember playing in a room off the kitchen where they had a cuckoo clock, which I loved. The living space this room belonged to changed over time, being part of Grandma and Grandpa's place at times, then being walled off and becoming part of the apartment next door, and then being returned to Grandma and Grandpa's side. The front room had a couple teal colored couches, one of which was particularly fun since it was a rocking love seat. This room also contained a piano and a number of glass display shelves that housed various treasures Grandma and Grandpa had collected during their travels. There were also always candy dishes there fill with some sort of candy. Sometimes the candy was good, and much of the time this candy was very old and hard. During Christmas the front room always had a Christmas tree surrounded by gifts for all Grandma and Grandpa's children and grandchildren, and eventually great grandchildren. The room was lite by a chandelier that also had decorations hung from it at times. The back bedroom in the house had a bathroom off of it that featured ugly pink ceramic. A little figurine of a girl sat on the counter with huge buggy eyes that I found a bit freaky. Grandpa got a pool table for the basement, and for years we loved to play pool on down there. Another really cool feature of the house was that the basement bedroom had a little cut out window that looked into the hall approaching it. This window had a board with knob on it that could be used to close or open this opening. We loved to play like the window was a ticket stand or other sort of stand where we pretended to sell things. A dark closed off hallway that served as a storage place to stash various odds and ends connected my grandparents' basement to the basement of the unit next door. We found this passage to be a bit spooky as children, but we used it for more adventurous games at times.
Visiting Grandma and Grandpa's house meant spending time with cousins we usually only saw during our trips to Utah. There were all sorts of games we played running around the spacious yard, hiding in overgrown bushes, and building hideouts. Sometimes it meant staying overnight and sleeping in a bunk bed in the basement, or sleeping over with cousins. Grandma and Grandpa's front yard was the ideal place to watch the city firework show put on in the park right next to them. We were there almost every year on the Fourth of July to enjoy it, and my mom's family often joined us there for the fun. As children, we laid out on a blanket stretched across the lawn and tried to guess what colors the next firework would be. We were also frequently in Utah for Thanksgiving, and always enjoyed a round a pie at Grandma and Grandpa's place, usually after having a turkey dinner with my mom's side of the family.
After my family moved to Utah we were at Grandma and Grandpa's house for many occasions throughout the year - not only for Thanksgiving and Independence Day, but also for other traditional gatherings like the Memorial Day Hot Dog Roast with water balloon volleyball after the dinner. On Christmas Day we always gathered there for lunch and gifts. There were many other family dinners at their house too. The last time I saw Grandma was on February 11, when we went to Grandma's for a family dinner with my immediate family. There was always a box of toys in the front room waiting for great grandchildren like Austin to come pull them out and play.
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| Birthday party for my mom at Grandma and Grandpa's house in 2004 |
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| Watching water balloon volleyball on Memorial Day 2009 |
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| Grandma and Grandpa with my gift to them on Christmas Day 2008 |
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| Playing water balloon volleyball 2009 |
Grandma was always working to get the family together. She really wanted us to stay connected, and she tried to encourage family gatherings and events that would further this goal. These included family reunions at Bear Lake, at the Heber Valley Camp, and other places. She also encouraged her grandchildren to gather for an annual cousin's party around the holidays with a white elephant gift exchange.
As we were growing up in a different state, Grandma and Grandpa also would visit us where we lived at times. Sometimes cousins, aunts, and uncles would visit us at the same time. I thought this was fantastic as a child, but looking back on it, those times must have been a bit hectic for my parents when so many people were staying in our small house. I remember Grandma and Grandpa taking us to Knotts Berry Farm once. I particularly remember going on a parachute ride with them, which I absolutely hated at the time because it made my stomach feel like it had jumped into my chest. I don't remember the rest of that day very well, except that I enjoyed it.
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| Grandma and Grandpa holding me as a baby |
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Grandma and Grandpa and my aunts and uncle visiting
my parents with my brother and me in California |
One of my favorite memories with Grandma and Grandpa was when they traded their time share for a condo at Lake Tahoe and invited just our family to spend the week with them. It was actually a sort of hectic trip. The condo had tons of stairs, making things difficult with my wheelchair bound brother, and Grandma and Grandpa wanted to visit lots of other places that weren't close to the condo while we were there. We drove to Yosemite one day and got back particularly late. On another day we drove to Pondarosa Ranch where we went on a hay ride. Yet another day was spent at Virginia City, where Allan and I got to try panning for gold. I remember there were advertisements all over Virginia City encouraging people to go see the famous "Suicide Table," so named because three owners of the table in a row committed suicide. My mom and I went to see what the hype was all about, and found a funny little table placed in the back of a crowded casino...mostly a ploy to get gamblers into the place. I especially liked the time we spent at the lake though, playing in the water and collecting smooth little rocks from the beach. Grandma and Grandpa took us out in a paddle boat they rented and I remember being in awe at the deep clear water as we went out on the lake. At one point during our trip, I remember Grandma showing me how to walk down the steep hill by the condo by turning and going down sideways.
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| Here we are in Yosemite |
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| On a paddle boat out on Lake Tahoe |
While living in Texas, Grandma and Grandpa also came to visit, but would stay in condos they had traded for their time share. Grandma and Grandpa's own time share was at Wolf Creek. We didn't go there a lot when I was little because it wasn't close. I remember one trip we did take to Wolf Creek though. I had lots of fun playing at the pool, and I remember being interested by the racquetball courts there though I wasn't old enough to play at the time. However, that night was pretty miserable staying in the condo. I was sent to sleep upstairs with my cousins, but it was sweltering hot. The upstairs room was open on one end so that it overlooked the living area, and Grandpa was watching a family video on the TV. I laid there awake for hours sucking on ice cubes to cool off. Since I was not able to sleep, my parents had me come sleep downstairs later where it wasn't nearly as hot. After we moved closer to my grandparents, we went to Wolf Creek more often and didn't have to stay overnight. In fact, where we live now is close enough that we have been going every year for a number of years. We always went swimming, ate dinner, and played racquetball before returning home.
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| Here we are at the beach on Galveston Island eating lunch |
There became a period of time in my life during which I didn't like Grandma much, mostly because I thought she didn't like me. I felt this way because whenever I saw Grandma, I felt like all I heard about was how wonderful my cousins were. I felt like she therefore thought a great deal of them, and not much of me. As an awkward, insecure teenager suffering from a lack of confidence, this negatively affected my feelings and relationship with her. I was particularly distressed when once soon after learning that I hadn't been asked to prom, she told my family all about how my cousin only slightly younger than me had been asked out to prom five times and was also excelling at track. I was hurt that I hadn't been asked out at all and was in no mood to hear about my cousin's abundance of invites and how she was waiting for the one she wanted before responding to any of them.
My parents had tried to explain to me at the time that Grandma was not trying to make me feel bad, but was just excited to share all the good news about others in the family. She was not always the best at doing this tactfully, but I came to realize over time that Grandma really didn't love or think more of all my other cousins than me. She loved us all and was happy for all our good news and success. She probably sometimes told my cousins all how wonderful our family was too in the same way she told us about them. She happily came to all our birthday parties, graduations, and other events that she and Grandpa could make it too. She remembered everyone's birthdays and gave all her grand kids birthday gifts she thought they would like wrapped in the comics section of the newspaper. There was also always a card with money that corresponded to our age and some candy. Every year she and Grandpa had Christmas gifts for all their children, grandchildren, and eventually great-grandchildren. And there were always goodies for us for Halloween and a large plastic egg filled with candy for us at Easter. In fact, she already had bought the Easter candy for everyone this year. It was found in her room waiting there for Easter...
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| At my high school graduation |
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| After Ben's Eagle Court of Honor |
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| At a bridal shower for me |
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| At Allan's graduation from BYU |
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| At Allan's Wedding |
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| With little ornaments I made for family for Christmas |
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| At Ben's BYU graduation |
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| At our April birthday party 2016 |
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| After Abbie's baby blessing |
As we got older, she held lots of baby showers and bridal showers at her house for her grandchildren. I had both a bridal shower and a baby shower there. She welcomed other grandchildren into her home to live during transient and difficult periods of their lives. One year my brother's car wasn't working to get home after our Independence Day celebration, so Grandma let him and his wife sleep over at her place, feed them breakfast, and took them to her favorite mechanic to get his car fixed. This was during a period of unemployment for my brother, so Grandma graciously paid their repair bill.
I know that things will be very different with my grandma gone, and it makes me sad. She will be greatly missed.
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| Grandma and Grandpa with Austin |
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| Mother's Day 2016 |
