Rebecca the Serious Hunter

Lately, I have been receiving a good deal of hunting stuff in the mail. For example, for some reason I have been getting the Field & Stream magazine. While I definitely never subscribed for this magazine, I have also gotten several offers to start doing so.

I can't figure out why I am suddenly getting hunting stuff. While I am definitely into outdoor activities such as camping and hiking, I have never been hunting in my life. Nor have I ever expressed any interest to anyone in doing so.

However, a few days ago I received my favorite hunting mail as of yet: a large letter from the North American Hunting Club. I opened the large bulky letter up just to see what it was and found a letter congratulating me on my nomination into the Club. The letter explained the benefits of being a club member. For a dollar a month, I would be able to get the club's magazine, their email newsletter, and opportunities to win guns and gear, among other benefits. Plus, I would test out hunting gear, fill out surveys on it, and then get to keep it afterward for free.

No doubt, if I was actually into hunting this could be a great deal. However, as someone who has never held a gun in my life, these offers are rather comical.

But what really made us laugh were the remarks the letter made about my hunting enthusiasm. For example, the letter reads:

"Why you?

Well, it's no secret among your friends and family that you are a dedicated hunter. As someone who is devoted to the sport, you're exactly the kind of person our Club is always looking for."

And...

"Only serious hunters are nominated. It's not for beginners! But it's not to say you need to be a pro to belong either. This Club is for hunting enthusiasts who constantly want to learn more. To improve their skills. To deepen their understanding of the sport. To improve with every hunting trip."

And...

"Why so much for so little? Let me explain...

You see, avid hunters like yourself are very valuable to the makers of hunting equipment and accessories. They want your attention."

Along with the letter, the envelope was loaded with other little free gifts: a sheet of return address labels, a notepad, a hunting license holder, and two decals (a white buck figure and a banner stating I am a member of the Club) to place on my car.


Who knew that the North American Hunting Club would consider someone like me a good nominee?