Emma

For the past couple months we wrestled with the decision of whether or not to adopt a seven year old girl named Emma. She was adopted at birth by another family in Utah, but her mother was not able to bond with her. While she did bond with her adoptive father, her relationship with her family was not a healthy one, and they made the hard decision that she needed to be adopted into a different family. Knowing her current situation was not a good one, she went to live with an aunt starting in January, and the family went to our adoption agency to have her placed elsewhere. The agency felt that we had the right temperaments and home to be a good fit for her, so we started earnestly looking into the matter. We were told that Emma suffered from attachment issues, anxiety, and other emotional issues, but that even living with her aunt had lead to improvement with many of her behavioral issues.

We spent a great deal of time searching, thinking, fasting, and praying about this situation. Emma spent some time with us, including staying here at our house for a few weekends. We felt that we had to know for sure that going forward was the right thing to do for everyone involved. Finally, we decided to move forward with the adoption.

June second was set as the date Emma would join us, and we rushed to get ready for it. Emma was told that she would be living with us during the summer, but was not told about the adoption until the night before. She was happy when she was told what was really going to happen, but then was obviously having difficulty when she arrived at our home that Saturday. She was trying to put on a brave face, but she was actually pretty emotional. Fortunately, she calmed down some as the day went on. We tried to keep it a pleasant, low key day. She also went shopping with me to pick out some new Sunday shoes and a nightlight for her room.

In the little time leading up to the adoption that we had, we worked to clear out a room for Emma and clean it up. I was so grateful for our angel neighbor who so graciously took time out of her crazy busy schedule to come help me wash walls and shelves the Friday before Emma came to join us. Her aunt brought some of her things to us that morning so we could set up her room, and I was immediately overwhelmed by the amount of clothes she had. Her aunt brought four trash bags, a large plastic storage container, and a box full of clothing. So, our very kind neighbor stayed to help me sort through the crazy amounts of clothing and put it away in Emma's room or take it to Deseret Industries.

I have never met anyone before with as many clothes as Emma seemed to have. That evening our social worker called to tell us she was bringing some more things for Emma, including more clothes. When Emma arrived Saturday, her previous family also brought more clothes with them. I am still trying to sort it all out...some of it is too big, more is too small, some was really ripped or stained...and some of it is just plain excessive.

Austin was the most enthusiastic person about Emma joining our family. He was bursting with excitement when he announced that he had a new sister to everyone in Primary that first Sunday. His Primary teacher told us that he kept asking her if he could go check on Emma about every ten minutes during their class. (He and Emma are just a few months apart, but Emma was born before Austin in a different year, so they are in different classes. This is probably really good for their teachers...)

Quick family picture we took on Emma's first Sunday with us

Fortunately, Nate got two weeks off of work for paternity leave. This was incredibly helpful to us as we worked to spend a lot of time bonding, adjusting, and working on paperwork type things like insurance. We spent most of this time close to home, spending time as a family and individually with each child. We went on bike rides, drew with sidewalk chalk, played games, played at the park, and walked along the Kays Creek Trail to Hobbs Pond. It was fun to see all the frogs there - in every possible stage of their development.

This new development in our family hasn't been easy, and we have a lot of work ahead of us as we continue to adjust and grow together. Austin and Emma in particular have a lot to work out as they are currently in a frequent state of contention. We are trying to teach them to work and play together while trying to also be as respectful and kind as possible to one another.

Still, we feel like we are making some good progress. Emma started calling us "Mom" and "Dad" after just a couple days in our home. She seems comfortable now giving us hugs and kisses, saying "I love you," and doing other affectionate things. And we love her too! We are so happy that she is a part of our family